I GOT A JOB!

F to the yeah! It's been a while. Here's why: I suited up for three interviews and spent over 2 weeks of training for a job ... not a just a job ... but a GOOD job. Okay, I had to go to a neighboring state to find it, but there are no jobs in Nevada! So, I'm commuting about 45 minutes each way and working from 7am-4pm Tuesday through Saturday ... but it's a JOB!!!!! For those of you who have luckily skirted the whole "recession" nuisance and still have your schedules, paychecks, 401Ks and health insurance, you probably wouldn't understand, but landing a good job right now is HUGE! So, I've completely thrown myself into this new whirlwind which has kept me on my toes, challenged, and grateful.
The great news, too, is that I've had less time to obsess about my ovaries and their diminishing use. Oh, I'm still a mess now and then, more often then than now ... but at least my zygote yearning has taken its place back in line and isn't hogging the center stage of my brain.
But it seems demented how much working means to me. How useless and diminished I feel when I'm not getting up every morning and joining the world in their march. I even busted open my purse calendar and started writing to do lists again. I am so much more organized when I'm working and thrive off that busy-ness and the notion of earning ... whether its fun or buying something or just chilling. It's been hammered into me that it all needs to be earned and if it hasn't been, it can't be enjoyed. God, I can pay my bills now and catch up with my responsibilities. It will feel so good to contribute to the household and treat my boyfriend and family again. All those things that you want to do for others, but simply don't have the money to. Buying a card, sending flowers, taking someone out to coffee or lunch ... treating the fam to a pizza ... all that life to participate in and you simply feel like the leechy, loser uncle when you can't. It's like you see yourself being force to be someone you're not ... just because you don't have the resources (ie: green stuff). No, happiness does not come from money ... I firmly believe that, BUT we live in reality, in this society, in this culture. And this culture requires money to eat, stay sheltered, and dress for our jobs that give us the money to pay for the shelter and food ... insert circle of infinity ... but I admit I'm very happy to be a cog in the wheel again!
Well, I spend about 9 hours on a computer everyday at my new job, but I miss writing so much, so add to "to do" list: keep blogging!